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Re: The End.
And yes, hello Jig...this is somewhat of a critique. ^_^ You've set things up well, leading in with the verse. And the first line picks up interest with 'home/prison' contrasted. ...
Dec 25, 2006 -
Re: Tarin and Naija
I'm trying to be less than impish and a bit more responsible as a usergroup leader...and respond to the entries, naturally. ^_^'' And as I'm not yet randomly dead, well ...
Dec 25, 2006 -
Re: Mary Had a Little Lamb
Edited to an R rating . Yes, it ought to be R-rated, for further reference, if it involves anything so sexually graphic, Unrec. As to the story itself, aside from ...
Dec 23, 2006 -
Re: Battle of Betrayal
You may to check for the homonyms - pale , of course, means white or wan skin, but pail is more along the lines of a bucket. ^_^ Aside from ...
Dec 15, 2006 -
Re: Crogs: Draft 3
Ah well, I'm back. ^_^ You have an aptly epic style, so to speak - battles, heroes, cultures clashing on the field of contest. Tolkien manages something similar, if more ...
Dec 15, 2006 -
Re: Finnegon
Ah! No spaces, my friend - it's like looking at a cinderblock wall. ^_^'' Put spaces between your paragraphs, manually, by editing the post. I assume you probably copy/pasted into ...
Dec 12, 2006 -
Re: half-a-draft of a story...
Altogether, that was a read worth the time. ^_~ You've got a good tone and atmosphere - and not only that, but conflict woven in. Too often one can get ...
Dec 11, 2006 -
Re: hay swain
I don't want to reiterate Jack, because that would be a dull comment here doubtless. ^_^ But I've got nearly the same impression. Nothing out of place; I loved the ...
Dec 6, 2006 -
Re: I slightly edited it, and yeaj. The summer horse
I'm not sure precisely where you're going here, Book_worm; and all in all, it's not easy to decipher with the lack of spacing between paragraphs and dialogue. It helps a ...
Dec 6, 2006 -
Re: Cocked, Locked, n' Ready to Rock
I won't say it was 'fun' or I'll risk the insulting implication of a dimunative. It is an entertaining read, and not simply entertaining--you've at least presented and hinted at ...
Dec 6, 2006 -
Re: love hina
as i sead before i know its bad but so is complaining about what another person dose if it dosent affect you , if you dont like it dont read ...
Dec 6, 2006 -
Re: Untitled
Now I've read a few things of yours, Eccentric, and, of course, always 'tis a pleasure. You've an even understanding and familiarity with the forms that I think keeps things ...
Dec 4, 2006 -
Re: Russia
It's a well-described brief interlude there. But emotionally forward without angst? That's always the trick, isn't it. ^_^ Try describing things more thoroughly--without a recurring reference to "I".
Dec 4, 2006 -
Re: Love's Flame still there
What's rather neat about it all is the catch-phrase like simplicity the lines manage. ^_^ I can see them intermingled with film in some movie trailer. Sighing, Weeping, Longing, A ...
Dec 3, 2006 -
Re: Rach
Hey Reas. ^_^ It seems more than years since I last got to critique something of yours--now the review week is an excuse to. Firstly, alternate history is always fun. ...
Dec 2, 2006
